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it’s not like he even cares anyway. he only loves me when he has a problem, or needs a paper checked. of course i’ll be there for him no matter what, casually watching from a distance, but never getting attached. catching feelings never worked out for us, it was like trying to trap smoke in your hands. he said he doesn’t even know himself, but that’s okay because we can go looking together. maybe our relationship was too early, but he can say he’s not jealous all he wants to. but i know he is. i’m sorry i’m not a 10 like you want, but most people just settle for what makes them comfortable. i hate him most of the time, but i can’t stop smiling from seeing him or a hug. i get excited if i know he’s going to class. i haven’t had these feelings since Matt.
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